Introduction Pt. 1

Introduction:

What can I say about myself?  Well, there are a few things I know for certain:

1.  I’m not where I thought I’d be by this point in life.
2.  I’m not doing what I’d really like to be doing with my life.
3.  But, I am where I feel like I’m supposed to be for now… at least as far as physical location is concerned.

I’m beginning to think that old adage about life is true:  What screws us up most is the image we have in our heads of how it’s supposed to be; The Fantasy vs. The Reality.

Oh, Hi!  Welcome inside my head!  I’m Jenna, and I’ll be your tour guide!  Please keep all arms, hands, and legs neatly tucked in as they should be, don’t want to lose any appendages.  All ready?  Alrighty!!  Sooooo…. off we go!!  

I’m a barely over 40, over-weight, single mom with a long list of ‘issues’ that I’m looking to pack-up and be rid of.  What issues, you ask… well, I suffer from Chronic Pain, for starters, a list which includes: Neuropathy, Restless Leg Syndrome, Varicose Veins on occasion, Sciatica, Fibromyalgia, and there is something (what we don’t know yet) wrong with my spine as well as a few migraines a month and insomnia.  Though, insomnia isn’t exactly a ‘chronic pain’… well… I guess proverbially speaking, it could be considered as such, and while we’re on the topic, we’ll add bi-polar to that list of ‘proverbial chronic pain’ as well!  Ha! 

Anywho, I’m just chock full low self-esteem, low self-worth, self-loathing, and self-depreciation with a big ol’ heaping helping of self-doubt on the side.  I also tend to sabotage myself a lot because of the aforementioned list of ‘beautiful selfies’.  I tend to start some pretty amazing projects only to leave them in varying stages of incompletion for the same reasons…  I tend to tear myself down and tell myself that I’m just not good enough to do what I want to do, what I have such a passion for; this is where the self-doubt rears its ugly head and I have myself a healthy portion of “What if…?” for dessert.  Have I mentioned that I generally have a pretty negative outlook on things?   Well, I do…

“Is there anything good you can say about yourself?” you may be asking.  Hmmm… well… I do have incredible, and sometimes a bit alarming, intuitive abilities.

Are my abilities where I’d like them to be?
No.

Are my abilities where they used to be?

No. In fact, they seem to be depreciating actually.

Do I want to get them back?

You bet!!

I know… I know what you must be thinking.  “Intuitive! Pshaw! Yeah, right!”  --insert snort and huge eye rolling here--  Well, if you’ve come here with a closed mind and a close heart, something to that effect will be what you’re thinking.  In which case, you should just stop reading right now because you will not learn anything by reading this blog.  Go on… we’ll wait for you to leave. 

For those who went to get the popcorn, please click on part two for the continuation. :)