As the night went on and I was reading on my computer, I kept noticing what appeared to be shadow people darting around the room (which, at night is dark everywhere except where I sit. I keep a side table lamp on next to my chair). When I started closing down the computer so I could go to sleep, suddenly, the shape of a rather short (maybe 5 ft. or a little taller) man with his back to me very suddenly appeared in front of me, at my feet. I was a little startled at the suddenness of his appearance. I smiled and pointed at him and said, "I see you." As I do with all the shadow people I see from time to time. (No, seeing them is nothing new to me as it's been happening to me as far back as I can remember)
After I said this to him, I began to see an image forming inside of his shape. At first it appeared that he was wearing a suit of *black plaid on a yellow background, kinda like this:
After seeing this tartan, the man's shape slowly morphed into a large circle with watery/blurry/fuzzy edges, kind of like looking into a portal to another dimension and two smaller portal-like balls of light came from about two feet on either side and flew toward and into the larger portal, making a rippled water effect as the image changed. I blinked hard a couple of times but the portal remained.
"Oh, wow!" I said, realizing that something strange was happening. I couldn't quite make out what the image was changing to, but it appeared to be a pond with lily pads and pinkish-white water lilies.
"Is that a... a pond?" I asked.
Two more smaller portal balls appeared on either side of, and few into, the larger portal, and again there was the rippling effect and the image changed again. I realized some thing was happening on a spiritual level and quickly finished putting my computer away while continuing to watch the portal. I reached and turned off the light as I pushed my small computer desk away from the chair as I reclined back to watch what was happening.
The image changed to what appeared to be a mosaic of a phoenix.
"That's a phoenix," I said.
Two more balls of light appeared and came into the larger portal, then the rippling effect and another image.
"That's a... a monkey," I said. This time, the image remained but got a little closer to 'the monkey's' face and I saw it a bit clearer.
"Is that a gorilla?" The image pulled back again and I could see that it was sitting under a tree with a parrot above it on a branch. "There's a parrot, too," I said, and two more balls of light came to change the image again. (The next image? A chimpanzee.)
This went on for a few more minutes and then the portal began to fade and I was overcome with sleep, passing out in a matter of seconds. The whole experience left me feeling that something was definitely going on, but in a very spiritual/soul way. What was accomplished? I don't know. All I know is that I awoke MANY hours later feeling rather tired and worn out, but otherwise in a peaceful mood.
No one I've ever known has experienced anything like this, and the few that I mentioned it to simply said, "Strange." (while probably thinking I've finally gone loopy. LOL)
Anywho... as I'm typing this up, I'm having a sense of déjà vu. Hmm... strange days ahead. I'm sure I'll have some more strange stories to tell on this journey. At the moment, the way I'm feeling is almost as if my soul is actually not with me at this particular moment. I'm feeling disconnected and distracted with a sense of weary in the forecast for this evening.
Prior to all this happening, last evening/night while on the way to my doctor's appointment, I was talking to my mother about the things I've learned so far in my research on the "Bruce Lee Philosophy" (as I'm calling it), I recounted a memory one of his former pupil's had told about him. He said:
**Leo Fong, a Methodist minister, movie director, and former student of Bruce Lee's, remembers a conversation he had with Bruce in 1964:
Bruce asked me, 'Why are you taking all these gung fu classes?'
"I said, 'Well, I'm looking for the ultimate." Bruce let out a big laugh. He said:
"Man, there ain't no ultimate! The ultimate is within you!'
It took me a while to let go of the old beliefs, the old crutches. When I got around to letting go and started to train on my own I realized what Bruce had imparted to me. It's frightening being your own teacher.
"The only way you can find the cause of your own ignorance," he said, "is self-evaluation and total commitment to your own process toward growth."My mother said to me:
"Do you know what stands out to me about that?"
"What?" I asked.
"What Bruce said to him... about 'the ultimate' being inside you. He's saying that everything you need to better yourself you already have... inside of you."
I agreed with her, but she argued:
"Then why are you looking outside of yourself for the answers?"
I explained to her that the reason I am reaching out to Bruce's Spirit for guidance is because I once thought I knew how to make that connection. I thought I had all the answers, but I've come to realize that I don't. I'm having trouble staying focused and achieving what it is I want to achieve. So, I've reached to Bruce to teach me how to connect to my inner-ultimate. How to find the answers I seek and how to learn the art of inner-peace and detachment as he did. I'm asking him to teach me from the beyond.
My mother expressed a concern that I was going to try and walk his path, and I assured her that his path was his path and I have no intention of following in his footsteps. I'm just asking him to help me to find mine so that I am better prepared for my own path.
On our way home, I was telling my mother another something that had happened to me the other day while I was thinking about everything that I'm coming to learn right now. I brought up a moment from my past, as a teenager. A very depressing time for me when I had tried to commit suicide. I told her about the music that was playing in the background that night; the song that stayed my hand. The year was 1988, and the song was "Reason To Live" by KISS. I went on to explain that I'd read a Bruce Lee quote that had me thinking the other night when I realized something quite profound (which I'll get to in today's "Lesson"), only to again realize the music playing the background. Again, a song by KISS by the name of "I" with the following lyrics hitting me with an even more profound imact:
I was so frightened
I almost ran away
I didn't know that I could do
Anything I needed to
And then a bolt of lightning
Hit me on my head
Then I began to see
I just needed to believe in me
Then I
(Chorus)
I believe in me
Oh, and I
I believe in something more than you can understand
Yes, I believe in me
Again, my mother smiled and said, "Yet again, something in your life telling you that everything you need is within you." I just smiled and said, "Yes, it is. I just have to believe in me."
So, anywho... that wraps up the strange events and epiphanies from yesterday evening/night. I hope today has been a blessed day for you all.
Peace, love, blessings and light. Good night.
~Jenna
*For those that are curious, that is the MacLeod of Lewis Tartan (which is a
Scottish Highland clan, btw. You can read more about them here.)
**This is an excerpt from "Becoming: A quest for Spirit, a longing to become. The Philosophy of Bruce Lee" -- I will share more from this through out my transitioning phase. :)
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